Sunday, July 7, 2013

Downward Facing Mom - Part 2

I know it has been reeeeeeeeaally long since I've posted, but now that my kids are home with me all the live long day, I am once again reminded of the challenges they bring to my workout time.  These are not the same challenges that Jillian Michaels brings to me. Just to clarify.  They are much different and more of a psychological, not physical, nature.

Children and Yoga

I see this time as a way to reconnect with my center, calm my soul and stretch out my tight, tight hamstrings. :)  My children either see it as the first shot of WWIII and they are going to fight for jurisdiction of a 99 cent toy like it is an eastern european country or they see it as a brand new jungle gym that has just been constructed for their pleasure.
I recall a specific yoga session probably three years ago when we were in our last house with the concrete floors and 12 foot tall ceilings.  I mention this because the acoustics created by the architecture of the house will come into play as the story unfolds.
Picture me in seated position, trying to gather positive energy, closing my eyes, taking deep breaths.  Next, imagine the volume level produced by my children fighting over whose ribbon wand is who's.  Oh the futility of trying to elivate conflict by getting them each the same exact toy.  Little did I know that one of the ribbons had, over the course of time, developed a knot, which had made them two totally different wands and therefore led to the present skirmish.   I had first tried to put an end to their arguing by calming suggesting alternatives for them.  From warrior 1 position, glancing over to their play area, "Why don't you guys put those down for now and play with the farm set?"  30 seconds later they were still trying to vie for the unknotted ribbon wand and I was in plank position. "How 'bout we'll figure it out when I'm done and you guys play with the baby dolls for a few minutes?" 45 seconds later they were still fighting, the volume level had increased, as had my blood pressure - to its boiling point, actually.  I untangled myself from my twisted seated hip stretch, stormed over the to them, snatched the offending toys away and yelled "I AM TRYING TO RELAX AND DO MY YOGA!! COULD YOU PLEASE BE QUIET, STOP ARGUING ABOUT THIS STUPID RIBBON WAND AND LET ME FINISH!! In a semi-quieter voice because I realized how completely un-zenlike I was being, "Please, please, please," I pleaded, "just play quietly for 10 more minutes and," in a bit more like a sergeant than a yoga instructor I barked,  "I will be a much better mom."
I'm sure my kids are still wondering when that "much better mom" part is going to kick in.  But in my defense, I'm still wondering when it will occur to them to let me have my 20 minutes a day of uninterrupted exercise time.

Lastly, the other facet of yoga that brings amusement to my 5 year old son are positions that lead me to resemble a piece of playground equipment in his eyes.  Chaturanga to downward facing dog are two of his favorites.  He tries to climb underneath me or jump over me in my bridge like poses before I drop, I mean slowly and with great strength, lower myself down to the ground.  Somedays I think it's kind of cute and other days I loathe it and want to be left the hell alone.  My son, ever living on the edge, takes his chances.


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